Making Pirates and Cheese Chic

Well, I do love cheese.

Making pirates chic isn’t easy — but someone has to.

My friends instantly said “Pirate’s Booty” and I instantly said “no.”

The time has come—for me to succumb to my child’s party themes. Last year I got away with Italian Summer by calling it a Pizza Party, for his second birthday we celebrated with a trip to Hawaii, now turning five my kiddo had a super clear vision: Pirates and Cheese.

After a few deep breaths I decided to focus on a few things I could wrap my hosting aesthetic around—treasure chests, gourmet grilled cheeses and accents of the Caribbean. After a few rounds of Pinterest searches I settled my nervous system on a bountiful buffet of brie, truffle and cheddar blocks with a neutral muslin cloth sail display that would be both beautiful and delicious.

Of course putting together children’s parties is no easy task for any parent, let alone people like me who treat hosting as an extension of oneself, very much invested in both the aesthetic and functionality. I cherish the planning process (for vacations as well) as it’s honestly half the fun for me. Hence my challenge in letting go of creative control and really tuning in to what my child was asking of me; to feel extra special that day and honor his own desire for autonomy and pride over this party.

Telling from his reaction after seeing everything we put together for that day, I felt really proud of my own growth as a parent. Letting go of control is something I’ve worked on over the years, recovering from my perfectionism has been challenging, however, I was a lot more at ease this time around, some reflections below.

First, I had to see it before I could make it

I always make an inspiration board full of colors, ideas and elements first to see how what I am imagining in my mind actually looks like all together. I spend a lot of time tightening the board so it’s cohesive but not exact. Often what I end up with varies a bit from the original idea but this board always serves as my anchor.

I stopped trying to control “pirates”

Playing with these things before you start buying will help you. We couldn’t find a cute pirate ship so we made one, same with the sheet buffet sail. I couldn’t really find the marble tablecloth I wanted, I instead used a similar pattern in the menus and then tried to add dimension to these simpler sage green ones by adding a shell display for the limes, silver trays and tropical fruits. I chose paper plates that resembled my beloved Ginori china and swapped out the traditional black and red pirate-esque color scheme to softer greens to match our surroundings, a neutral muslin texture on the sail and kept traditional gold accents with the candelabras. A Captain Jack Sparrow attends garden party kind of vibe.

I thought about everyone, not just the birthday boy

I spent a lot of time figuring out how to best use my backyard which is tricky because the sun hits so hard in the most prime spaces. I wanted everyone to mingle, but still have areas that were distantly kid friendly so I put the kids tables near the play structure and away from the food and bar. I added adult tables nearby in some shade and warned people to bring hats. I centered the party around the grass below the deck to add space for our wonderful entertainer to play games while parents ate, drank and mingled. The cheese buffet remained under the shade of our grapefruit tree, a little bit away from where the kids played. The goal is always to make everyone feel comfortable and I think I did a better job this year despite the high temps and little shade!

A birthday party is never just about the kids

We tend to focus on the kids, which is great and having some form of entertainment is ideal for them as well as the adults. I see a birthday party as a celebration for the whole family and community surrounding them, not just the kids. So whether it’s a bar or coffee cart, adult seating area or an adult friendly grilled cheese option, considering all your guests always wins.

The hardest thing I did was ask for help

Hosting parties can be very overwhelming and I have been practicing over the years how to plan, delegate and actually enjoy myself. For this party the main key was in the delegation. Instead of taking all the prep work on myself, this year I asked my husband to takeover the craft table and build the pirate ship. I hired a bartender, caterer and entertainment for the kids, in addition to having my housekeeper help manage our house throughout the event—a privilege that honestly made the biggest difference in how I host, allowing me to actually talk to my guests and enjoy myself. Obviously it’s not always feasible to hire help, but even asking small favors from friends and family to take turns manning the craft table or create a menu, bring a bottle of wine, can make all the difference in how you as a host experience the party.

We all know parenting is challenging, but it’s also very joyful. Birthdays are as special as you make them, regardless of how much time, money or stress you pump into them, the energy you bring will always show. The most important part is having your kid feel special and seeing the people they love come together for them.

Later on my son let me know the pirate is a mouse, hence the cheese. Fortunately I was already on board, no pun intended. Argh!

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